That bloke

I had the same Nokia phone for many years. There was a ring tone composer, so I made up a ring tone, and had that for many years too. I was very pleased one day when a work colleague who sat opposite me started humming it.

Today I found an emulator for the composer, and so here is (an approximation to) my old ring tone. There's a play button at the bottom.

Kirsty MacColl's New England is a fine song, but there's a lump-in-the-throat moment for me when it gets to this bit:

Once upon a time at home
I sat beside the telephone
Waiting for someone to pull me through
When at last it didn't ring, I knew it wasn't you

Edit: I must be getting old - I posted this before 8~)

There's an NME list of the best 500 albums. Obviously there's a lot of stuff on there I've never heard. So it occurred to me that I could listen to all of them. Today I started at number 500 with Stankonia by OutKast.

There's a lot of problems with this while idea. I won't see this through to the end (which, spoiler alert, is The Queen is Dead by The Smiths). I would have to listen to things I know I don't like (for example, I can tolerate but am unlikely to enjoy Bob Dylan; I can't stick Bruce Springsteen - both of them are on there). I have to overcome prejudices (which started right at the beginning - Outkast have funk elements that I'm enjoying, but hip-hop elements that I'm managing to sit through).

If were to listen for 8 hours a day, assuming 45 minutes per album, I could be done in about a month and a half. Why not play along at home?

Hmm, hip-hop. There are two things that bother me. Testosterone-fueled self aggrandisement, anger and mysogyny aren't something I want to hear. Outkast were asking me repeatedly if I "want to hear about the gangsta shit?" No, not much, and stop calling women bitches. I accept that this is me manifesting white privilege and having less to be angry about, but realising that doesn't make it enjoyable. The other thing is that I want rappers to stop rapping and sing. That's why the more funk parts of this album work for me. But then I suppose it wouldn't be hip-hop, would it?

If this ridiculous music experiment carries on for long, I'll be able to explain why I don't like a whole lot of other things too. The music industry must be trembling.

Edit: I'm moving these to fartoomuchmusic

Everywhere you see people hanging around in the street, but then you realise it's the queue for a shop. The shelves seem to be getting less empty. There was a news story about shopkeepers being told that Easter eggs weren't "essential items" so they shouldn't be selling them. So in a rebellious moment I bought some carrot cake.

Appropriate song: Let's Go Shopping - Sultans of Ping

While googling (I can't say "DuckDuckGo-ing") for a particular Tom Lehrer song, I came across this one about Oedipus. That was fun.

Still listening to the Bamboos.

• Happy - mmm, had to play this one through three times in a row
• King of the Rodeo - strange video where the band plays the audience, and women play the part of the band. Singer is the right person, though.

The singer on that song also has a pretty severe stutter, but only when she talks. She gave a Ted talk about stuttering which is surprisingly entertaining.

Title explanation

I bought a t-shirt in Brighton, and it came with a free CD by The Bamboos. Lots of good funk choons, but Can't Help Myself jumped out.

And I can't help myself
Don't want to funk with no one else

Simple, but done well.

I just heard the Rolling Stones song, Tumbling Dice, on the radio. It occurred to me that I've heard this song many times, but I didn't know the words. I had a good listen, and was none the wiser, so I looked them up, expecting an "a-ha" moment when it clicked. Nope. Could have been the words to a song I'd never heard.

So, I suggest that the song actually goes like this.

Blah blah blah (x7)
You know the deuce is still wild
Blah blah blah
They call me the tumbling dice
(repeat several times)

You may be familiar with the song I'm My Own Grandpa but it can be hard to follow how the relationships work, so some people have made YouTube videos to "clarify" things:

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu_Y1wQ923g
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5vYtjYywzM
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWThzXkpz_w
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbfF5Eq20hU
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYlJH81dSiw

I'm sure there are others.

I was actually looking for Lydia the Tattooed Lady which turns out to be more risqué than the Muppet version I knew...

Singing in the shower this morning, Ziggy Stardust popped into my head. Wow, the words are stupid!

Screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo
Like some cat from Japan

WTF?