Medical outing

Been to the doctor today with a dodgy stomach. Fair warning: squeamish people should stop reading RIGHT NOW. For the first time in my life I had to produce a stool sample. They gave me a sheet of instructions involving an ice cream tub. It's fascinating, revolting, and fairly humiliating. The sample pot and the bag you have to put it in are both see-through.

Instead of saying "stool sample" they should try "teaspoon of turd" or "poop in a pot".