Bad Lip Reading

[jbanana]

I hadn't thought about Bad Lip Reading for years, then I remembered the clip with Bush and Clinton, watched it again, and laughed until my ribs hurt.

Anyway, here's a transcript because I couldn't find one.

Clinton: We made a sorry attempt at tricking Alicia Keys into going ice fishing.
Bush: We could float on my dream shuffler. Them parrots have always jumped on me, and I actually hurt them.
Clinton: Bitch, everybody in here is safe from your crazy goat 'n' demon fear, and we will not watch the game.
Bush: Well, I'm braver than a lion. Now who's ready now for beer and doritos?
Clinton: You're fired, and the knives will be safe.
[fart noise]
Clinton: There you go!
Bush: I tooted.