jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
So you have one week until you've finished your sanity?
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
Worst case scenario, we're a million pounds out.
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
  • "The river may be too wild" he said rapidly
  • "I think I'll put these fruit in my gin" he said slowly
  • "Birds with forked tails!" he said swiftly
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
I remember enjoying making these up as a child, so I tried a few new ones.
  • "We're going to have to dispose of the body" he said gravely.
  • "What's for pudding?" he asked sweetly.
  • "I've cut my nails too short" he said quickly.
The canonical example handed down by the ancients is:
"Get to the back of the boat" he said sternly.
Edit: "Get to the back of the boat" he said afterwards
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
  1. I wrote some entries for Rosetta Code a few years ago. One was for 3D text output in Java. I found today that someone has translated my code into another language that I'd never heard of, and credited me. I'm flattered and baffled at the same time.
  2. I was looking for a cheap hair cut, and I found a barber that looked promising. At the bottom of their web site it says
    Best viewed in 1028 x 768 with IE5     Last Updated: 21/08/05
    Aww, bless!
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
Here are some people who make me feel good. It's not an exhaustive list.







Click to embiggen
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
A man near me was sitting doing not much. Suddenly he leaned forward to his bag, took out a belt, and put it on. Why?

Did he think his trousers would fall down when he stood up? He'd got to his seat without mishap.
Did he just like wearing an unnecessary belt? He'd put the belt in his bag instead of round his waist.

When he'd got the belt on, he carried on doing not much.
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
I prefer web mail, but I'm currently forced to use Outlook, a bizarre and Byzantine behemoth* that frustrates me if I try anything beyond "write message" and "read message". Worst of all is the search, which often doesn't find things that are definitely there, and doesn't understand "quotes means phrase search".

But I found how to make it work: obscure words. I have a long-running email chain with the word "putative" in the subject, and Outlook finds those messages easily and quickly. So when you send a new message, get your thesaurus out.

*Apologies about annoying alliteration.

Cuppa

Mar. 17th, 2016 12:17 pm
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
I found this on a packet of tea:
The sun streams in through the window. Rain beats down on the roof. Wind rustles through the trees. Or a blanket of snow waits outside.

Whatever you wake up to, pop the kettle on and drink in the day.
Quite poetic for marketing blurb.
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
This is a nice idea, but I'm not sure if it will succeed. Everywhere in the world can be located by three words. Similar addresses are purposely far apart: There are probably several 3m squares that cover where you live, so you get some choice about your three words.

Edit: Not sure why I find this so amusing...

Edit 2:

Edit 3:

Edit 4:

Edit 5:

Edit 6: I found a pumpkin carving party in the Caucasus Mountains nowhere near anywhere, and a scout slumber party in Kazakhstan.

Edit 7: Spend every penny in some road-side bushes in the Chicago suburbs.
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
Find all the branches to master since the versions/1.7 branches were created:
(for %H in (repo1 repo2 repo3 etc) do @(echo %H & pushd C:\Users\JBanana\Documents\work\%H & (git checkout versions/1.7 & git pull & git checkout master & git pull & for /f %G in ('git merge-base --fork-point master versions/1.7') do @(git log --merges %G..HEAD > c:\temp\%H_merges.txt)) & popd & echo.)) & echo Finished!
I put it here because I might need it again one day, and because it makes me smile ruefully.

Edit: I needed it the next day. 8~)
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
At the command prompt on Linux/Unix/Cygwin/etc make a file called mouse and put this in it:
                _ |\_
                \` ,,\
           __,.-"  =Y=
         ."        )     
   _    /   ,    \/\_     ) __QQ 
  ((___(     )_-\ \_-`   (_(_)_">
  `-----'`-----` `--`       " "
Now when you say cat mouse, that's exactly what you get.

Edit: Guess what this does:
cat mouse | cat mouse -
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
I've changed some details to fooBar to protect the guilty. It wasn't me.
// delegate the saveView logic to fooBarSupport
return fooBarSupport.getSaveView(fooBarID, form, model, isNew);

Wot?

Oct. 14th, 2014 04:13 pm
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
You don't often hear a cockney accent nowadays. Young Londoners aim for Jafaican, Estuary or RP, but there's a few left. Today I heard a woman talking about her work. She said "I'm on the counter" with her tone of voice adding an implied "stupid" But I heard "I'm on the canter" which came across as mildly alarming - no man is safe!
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
$ mkdir 'phone book'
 
$ rm 'phone book'
rm: cannot remove `phone book': Is a directory
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
Last night on the train, my second chunk of reading of this book included a clitoris. I was sitting next to a woman with extremely short hair, hoping that she wouldn't notice. I was going to give you a page number, but I couldn't find the clitoris...

This morning my SO asked why I was reading this book. She'd been rummaging in my bag for a lunch box. Well, (a) I thought it might be amusing, and (b) no privacy?

Then on the train again, another clitoris, and I actually laughed out loud on the train over a gag about a hair brush.

Heh - lunch box. I'm a stranger to maturity.
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
I'm not, er, a big fan of Satan, but this amused me:
A group of Satanists who hope to build a statue of the devil next to a monument of the Ten Commandments by Oklahoma's Capitol building have unveiled their proposed design. The Satanic Temple... applied for a permit to erect a monument of Satan next to the Ten Commandments memorial.

[snip]

Satan sits on a throne with a pentagon inscribed on it and two small children standing beside him. The group had said that it hoped the statue would act as an "object of play for young children" and Satan's lap would serve as a seat for visitors "for contemplation".

[snip]

[obligatory Flying Spaghetti Monster reference]
Source
jbanana: Badly drawn banana (Default)
You may be familiar with the song I'm My Own Grandpa but it can be hard to follow how the relationships work, so some people have made YouTube videos to "clarify" things: I'm sure there are others.

I was actually looking for Lydia the Tattooed Lady which turns out to be more risqué than the Muppet version I knew...
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